Jevburgers

A hot-off-the-grill beef burger paired with four lettered topping stations — smoky, spicy, tangy, and herby — so every eater answers the same question their own way. One good patty, four very different right answers.

Serves 6 · as served on Bluesky ↗

Coals are just about grey now, and I've got a good idea brewing for these Jevburgers. Way I figure it, if folks want to sit down and pick an answer off a multiple choice screen, they oughta be able to do the same thing with their toppings — so I'm setting up four little stations, lettered A through D right on the board, each one arguing for a different kind of burger. Smoky bacon and caramelized onion, a spicy pickled jalapeno kick, a tangy BBQ and crispy onion crunch, or a cool garlic aioli with peppery greens — you grill one great patty, then everybody at the table answers the same question their own way. Made something close to this for my brother-in-law's fantasy football draft party and by the third round guys were arguing over which letter was the "correct" one, which I figure means it worked. Nothing fancy in the meat itself, just good beef, hot grill, and a little patience — the fun's all in the multiple choice.

Ingredients

Fresh

• 1 piece yellow onion (thinly sliced, divided)
• 1 clove garlic (minced, for station D aioli)
• 1 cup arugula (for station D)

Fridge

• 2 lb ground beef, 80/20 (for patties)
• 2 tbsp butter (softened, for buns)
• 6 piece american cheese slices
• 6 slice bacon (cooked crisp, for station A)
• ½ cup pickled jalapenos (for station B)
• ⅓ cup mayonnaise (for station D aioli)

Pantry

• 6 piece burger buns
• 2 tbsp hot sauce (for station B)
• ½ cup bbq sauce (for station C)
• ½ cup crispy fried onions (for station C)

Spice rack

• kosher salt
• black pepper (cracked)

Directions

1. Divide the ground beef into 6 loose balls and press into patties a bit wider than your buns, then season both sides heavy with kosher salt and black pepper.
2. Get your grill or a cast iron pan ripping hot and sear the patties about 4 minutes a side, laying an american cheese slice on each in the last minute so it goes soft and droopy. ⏱ 8 min
3. While the patties rest, butter the cut sides of the burger buns with the butter and toast face-down on the grill until golden. ⏱ 2 min
4. Cook half of the yellow onion low and slow in a splash of drippings until deep brown and jammy, then set out with the bacon as Station A, the smoky answer. ⏱ 15 min
5. Set out the pickled jalapenos and hot sauce together as Station B, the spicy answer.
6. Set out the bbq sauce and crispy fried onions together as Station C, the tangy answer.
7. Stir the mayonnaise with the garlic into a quick aioli and set it out with the remaining yellow onion raw and the arugula as Station D, the herby answer.
8. Letter each station A through D on little cards, set a cheeseburger patty on every toasted bun, and let each person pick their own correct answer before closing up the bun.

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