The Anti-Clonking Device

A hand-cast candy coil engineered to live in the bottom of your glass and catch the clonk before it ever happens. Amber, chewy, and dusted in sour sugar - equal parts kitchen gadget and dessert.

Serves 8

Every family has that one glass on the picnic table that clonks something awful every time somebody tops it off with ice, and I finally got fed up enough to fix it. So I built this straight out of the candy kitchen instead of the hardware aisle: a coiled pate de fruit gasket, cooked up amber-sweet and dusted in sour sugar, sized to sit right in the bottom of a rocks glass like a little shock absorber. Works the same principle as the rubber grommet on my porch screen door, just softer and a whole lot tastier. You cook it low and slow to that soft-set candy stage, pipe it into a spring shape, and let it firm up overnight so it's got the give to take the hit. My sister-in-law Donna about jumped out of her lawn chair the first time she heard silence where the clonk used to be. Drop one in before the ice and see for yourself - the quiet is the whole point.

Ingredients

Fresh

• ½ cup cold water (for blooming the gelatin)

Fridge

• 1 cup white grape juice

Freezer

• ice cubes (for serving)

Pantry

• 3 tbsp unflavored powdered gelatin
• 1½ cup granulated sugar (divided)
• ⅓ cup light corn syrup
• 1 tbsp citric acid
• red food coloring (a few drops)
• neutral oil (for greasing the mold)

Directions

1. Sprinkle the gelatin over the cold water in a small bowl and let it bloom. ⏱ 5 min
2. Lightly grease a sheet of parchment paper with the neutral oil and set it on a baking sheet - this is your mold for shaping the device.
3. In a small saucepan, combine the grape juice, sugar, and corn syrup, and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring until the sugar dissolves.
4. Clip on a candy thermometer and cook without stirring until the syrup reaches 225°F. ⏱ 12 min
5. Remove from the heat and whisk in the bloomed gelatin until fully dissolved, then whisk in the food coloring until you've got a deep amber-red.
6. Spoon the hot mixture into a piping bag, or a zip-top bag with the corner snipped, and pipe it onto the parchment in a tight spiral, like a garden hose coiled up, about 3 inches across and 1 inch tall - one coil per glass you're fixing.
7. Let the coils set uncovered at room temperature until firm, ideally overnight. ⏱ 8 hr
8. Stir together the remaining sugar and the citric acid in a shallow dish, then roll each coil in the mixture until fully coated - this crust keeps the device from sticking to itself or the glass.
9. Set one candy coil in the bottom of each rocks glass, fill with ice cubes, and pour over your drink of choice - the coil cushions every cube so the glass stays quiet.

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