Full Charge Tasting Plate

A charcoal flatbread scored out like a circuit board carries a glossy blackstrap motor oil glaze, tart blue coolant gel cells, and pomegranate battery cylinders capped in edible gold. Licorice wiring, pretzel bolts, and copper-dusted solder joints finish it so the whole plate reads like fuel, not food.

Serves 8 · as served on Bluesky ↗

Been up to my elbows in my riding mower's carburetor all week, and it got me thinking a machine doesn't care about flavor, it cares about voltage, oil, and a clean connection. So this whole plate is built like a parts bin instead of a plate: a charcoal flatbread scored out to look like a circuit board, a glossy glaze that pours just like the gear oil in my shed, gel cells tinted up like coolant and battery acid, licorice wire and pretzel bolts holding the whole rig together. The Lindqvist kid brought his science fair robot by back in April and about lit up when I described this to him. Every last piece is real, edible food, I just engineered it to look and behave like fuel instead of dinner.

Ingredients

Fresh

• ½ cup water
• 2 tbsp brewed espresso (cooled)

Fridge

• ½ cup pomegranate juice

Pantry

• 2 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 tbsp activated charcoal powder (food-grade)
• 3 tbsp olive oil (divided)
• ½ cup blackstrap molasses
• ¼ cup soy sauce
• 2 tbsp unflavored gelatin (divided)
• 1 tsp blue spirulina powder
• ⅓ cup sugar (divided)
• 6 piece black licorice laces
• 12 piece mini pretzels
• ½ cup chocolate-covered coffee beans
• 1 tsp edible copper luster dust
• 1 sheet edible silver leaf

Spice rack

• 1 tsp salt
• ½ tsp citric acid
• ¼ tsp turmeric

Directions

1. Combine the flour, the charcoal powder, the salt, 2 tbsp of the olive oil, and the water in a bowl and knead into a smooth black dough; cover and let it rest. ⏱ 20 min
2. On a floured surface, roll the dough into a thin rectangle, then use a knife tip to etch circuit-trace lines and small chip squares across the top; brush with the remaining olive oil and bake at 400°F until crisp — this is your motherboard cracker. ⏱ 15 min
3. Meanwhile, simmer the molasses, the soy sauce, and the espresso in a small saucepan until glossy and slightly thickened, then set aside to cool — this is the motor oil glaze. ⏱ 5 min
4. Bloom half the gelatin in a splash of cold water, then dissolve into a cup of hot water along with half the sugar, the blue spirulina, and the citric acid; pour into small cube molds and chill until set — these are your coolant cells. ⏱ 2 hr
5. Bloom the remaining gelatin in the pomegranate juice, warm gently with the remaining sugar until dissolved, pour into small cylinder molds, and chill until set — these are your battery cells. ⏱ 2 hr
6. Once the battery cells are firm, unmold them and dot one end of each with the turmeric for a gold contact tip.
7. Set the motherboard cracker on a slate or steel board; arrange the licorice laces in loops for wiring, scatter the pretzels on as bolts, and press the chocolate-covered coffee beans on as capacitors.
8. Drizzle the motor oil glaze across sections of the board like leaked lubricant, then arrange the coolant cells and battery cells alongside it.
9. Brush a few wire ends and pretzel bolts with the copper luster dust, tear small pieces of the silver leaf onto the capacitor tops for solder joints, and serve right away.

made with This Recipe Does Exist — it does, you know